hippos, horses, and wee ones

There is never a day that I’m “not in the mood” to see the children at Special School. I have no idea what it is like to be a parent, but my heart always lights up when I see one of the students; it warms when one of them hugs me or grabs onto my hand; I get a sense of joy when I hear “laoshi hao”/ “hello teacher”; I have a sense of pride when they accomplish something – great or small; I hurt when I can’t fix something for them or keep the bad from coming their way; I shed tears at times out of love, joy and/or pain. What I share with my students is so special to me and I’m so incredibly thankful for it.

I’ve had the joy of witnessing some short-term volunteers interact with the children and the joy and love that is exchanged. I watched the students jump and scream, smile and laugh and hug as 3 American guys handed over a gift of 2 new soccer balls to them. It was awesome! And they were SO excited that these foreigners would take the time to play a game with them. I smile now as I relive it all. The kids only stop playing with those soccer balls when it’s required for sleeping, eating or class time :)

There have also been a few tears of joy shed during hippotherapy this season. In addition to my pro-riders that have been coming each season for the past couple of years, we’ve had some new children joining in. One is a little 5 year-old boy (pictured above) who cannot speak and was slow to follow directions during therapy. When he first started hippotherapy, he rode with a slightly-slumped posture and didn’t follow directions or respond much to anything. With his father accompanying him, he has come 3 days/week for 4 weeks and has been making little bits of progress each week. On Wednesday, I held out a ring and within seconds he grabbed it! He was even able to put it up on the pole! He’s making noise now when he rides and smiling ear to ear! How awesome that his father gets to experience this with him. There is a 3 year-old girl who was so scared around the horses when she first came and she would just cry and cry as her mother held her. Now, she is up on the horse riding with one of the teachers. She smiles, speaks a little and even grabs onto the ring! Another little girl, 4 years old with Down Syndrome (in picture), just rode today by herself for the first time! She is so alert when she rides, can follow most directions, and today she could not stop smiling and waving at me! :) They are all so incredibly precious and I am so thrilled that they get to experience such a thing as hippotherapy here in China. I’ve watched them gain physical strength, coordination, balance, flexibility, etc. But moreover I’ve seen them benefit from interacting with the horses and the volunteers. They get to accomplish something so grand – riding a horse – and their disability isn’t holding them back. Finally, they get to be “normal.” They get to move freely through space because their horse is helping them. No more limping, no more slow pace, no more crouched posture, no more head being held low, no more crutches/canes/walkers…no…here they get to sit higher than anyone else and hold their heads high. And sometimes, they even get to make their horse “run”…something that makes each child squeal with pure, untainted joy.

Good Things are Happening

I truly cannot believe it's already May 12th!! Where oh where has time gone?!

Things have been moving right along here in Hunchun since my last post. I must say that being here the second time around has brought a new sense of "home." All of the glamour is gone but that's not necessarily a bad thing. It's like wearing an old pair of jeans - they seem to fit just right. But don't get me wrong, nothing is at the point of being mundane or slow.

I worked with the stroke-affected adults for a couple of months to place their feet on better ground by demonstrating appropriate exercises and techniques. Because each individual had suffered the stroke one year or more prior, there was only so much I could do to help. Before I stopped going 4x/week, they assured me they felt confident with what I had shown them. I still visit them from time to time to check in. They each became dear to me and continue to hold a special place in my heart. Many mornings I see them walking on the street and it makes me smile every time. It's nice to be walking through town, see an old friend, and have the ability to chat with them a bit in Chinese.

At Special School, most things are much easier and more enjoyable now that the snow and ice are gone. It's great to see the children out playing and enjoying themselves. This coming Sunday is Disabled Day in China which means Sports Day will be this Friday at Special School. It's set up similar to Special Olympics and everyone, from the students and parents to the teachers and volunteers, loves Sports Day! Various types of competitions are held (even a tug-of-war between the volunteers and the teachers). It should be a great day! In addition to that excitement, hippotherapy starts up again on May 24th and the children are elated! They've been asking about riding horses since I returned in January :) Much goes into the program and I hope to get all of the details worked out in time.




Two brief news clips: 1st - The pediatric wheelchair I ordered for Song Ju came in from Beijing! Just as a reminder, he has muscular dystrophy and can no longer walk. The Province I live in (which is comparable to a US state) didn't have any small wheelchairs so we had to purchase an adult chair for temporary purposes. It made me cringe a little seeing him in it, but it was necessary for him to have a chair. I included both pictures so that you could see the difference in his posture. He was so excited when he saw it and his mother was incredibly grateful. He really seems to be happy and is even enjoying coming to therapy! :) 2nd - A mother in the community heard about the therapy at Special School so she brought her 6 year old son, Li Jia Cheng, in to see me. It was immediately apparent that his Achilles tendon was too short and needed to be surgically lengthened. What a blessing to find out soon after meeting Jia Cheng that the orthopedic surgeon from South Korea was making his yearly visit to Yanji one month later. This surgeon's work is excellent, his heart is worn on his sleeve, and he does his procedures at 1/2 price when he comes to China. Jia Cheng's family is very poor but, with the assistance of a Stateside couple whom I met last year when they visited Hunchun, we were able to pay for Jia Cheng's surgery and hospital stay. The surgery went extremely well and, with a cast on, he was walking 3 days later! I recently visited him and his mother and younger brother in their home. I was so happy to see Jia Cheng smiling ear to ear and walking about! You see, great things are happening!

Thank you so much for your continued support, love and interest! I truly feel blessed to be here and to be living this part of my dream! I'm happily living in the moment!

~keira

Not Spring Yet

It’s a snowy day in Hunchun. I walked to Chinese class this morning at 6:30 like a little child on her way to build sand castles on the beach – I had a little spring in my step. I am definitely ready for spring as things have been covered in snow and ice since my arrival however, this snow storm seems most enjoyable for some reason!

I have a little piece of news to start the update: Remember Song Ju - the little boy with muscular dystrophy whose mother left last fall? Well, she came back and took Song Ju out of the orphanage. I’m happy to say that he continues to attend Special School and I see him smiling when he is with the other students. I just hope his little heart is okay.

There is a new addition to my schedule this year, one that was unexpected but most welcome. The uncle of my Chinese friend, Tina, suffered a stroke three years ago. Once he discovered that I was a physical therapist he asked that I come over for a visit and observe his mobility and his daily exercise routine (the Chinese receive no education from the doctor regarding their stroke). I jumped at the opportunity – working with individuals who had suffered a stroke was one of my favorite aspects of my job back in Colorado. That visit to his apartment turned into me meeting with other adults in the community who are in the same predicament. I join them every Tuesday and Thursday morning and afternoon. The first morning I was headed to the “stroke center” (that’s what I’m calling our exercise room) I was called in to speak with the government officials first. It turns out they just wanted to see who the foreigner was, what my training was, thank me for my help, and remind me that I can never speak about my spiritual beliefs. Point taken.

I am so thrilled to be working with these people. Right now there are about 20 people gathering together. They are so excited and grateful and my heart is so full and joyful when I’m with them. Incredible – now I get to spend time with the children and the older adult population!

My language learning is coming along. People tell me I am learning quickly but there are times I am discouraged and feel as though I can’t communicate anything meaningful. It comes back to that desire of mine to gel with people on a deeper level. I’m independent but very relational too. I want to truly connect with the children at Special School, the adults at the stroke center, and friends I’ve met along the way. I know – it will come :) Tuesdays and Thursdays are hoppin’ – I leave my apartment at 6:30a and arrive home at 7:30p. It’s a full day of communicating in Chinese without the company of another foreigner, an English-speaking local, or the assistance of a translator (except at the stroke center – I have a translator). I get home and my brain is on overload. I’ve started attempting to translate things into Chinese in my dreams or when rolling over in bed. Ahh!!

Hope you all are well!

a look within

I know many of you heard me say it while I was in the States, but coming home is/was wonderful and difficult all at the same time. It seems as though every time I go through transition I end up analyzing my entire life. That may or may not be a natural response. Regardless, transition has occurred so often in my life the past 3 years and it can be tiring. BUT, I have the most incredible people in my life. I have said that so many times before and I’ll continue to say it until the day I die. :) The connections I share and the love that I have is profound and immeasurable. I cannot tell you how many times it has been a strength to me. (It was today as I read through some of the notes of encouragement people have written to me over the past two years.)

I think we all go through the up and down motion between confidence and self-doubt, clarity and confusion, optimism and pessimism regarding all aspects of our lives. For some, the extreme from point to point is greater than for others. I don’t exactly know where I fit on that scale comparatively but I do know this – I tend to feel things pretty deeply so my highs are high and my lows are low.

During my time back “home” this winter I experienced the highs and the lows. I thoroughly enjoyed my time with everyone and each interaction was unique in its own way. However, there was an internal struggle going on. There were times I was fully aware of this struggle and times I was completely oblivious. Now, spending time in reflection, I realize I lost sight of the strength and confidence that has so often fueled my journey. This affected the areas of friendship, love, faith, and my decision to return overseas to an “abnormal” life. Thankfully, now that my feet are planted in one spot again, clarity is reclaiming its place:

In the realm of friendship – despite my physical absence, the true and meaningful relationships I have will continue to exist. Although changes will occur in each person’s life, including mine, and the gap may widen from time to time, the foundation that is there will remain firm. My history has proven that time does not destroy friendship nor family.

In the realm of love – although it is a longing unfulfilled it is one that does not cripple me. Strength has been restored.

In the realm of faith – although I am embarking on a personal “faith journey” that is extremely deep and at times dark and lonely, I have confidence that it is vital and true. It is a journey that will not end overnight and it will take a great deal of focus and energy to complete, but I am determined.

In the realm of my decision to return overseas – I believe in most situations there is often something lost for something gained. That loss can be positive, negative or neutral. Coming home I somehow forgot, for a time, what was gained by living this different life and unfortunately looked too closely at what was lost. I had begun to question where I was at and why. It was part of the affect of the transition. But about one month into being home I started down a path that was beneficial for my sanity and for regaining the strength and confidence I had lost: I read my old journal entries. There on those pages I had poured out my soul, my dreams, and my ambitions. I saw that my course changed from time to time but the underlying goal and drive remained constant; I also talked to a couple of dear friends and family members to get their take on me – what I was made up of, what I had talked about in the past regarding my dreams and desires, some instances that fueled those dreams, etc. Those two things (the reading and the discussions) served as strong reminders of how I came to be where I am today. This alternative lifestyle is not a fluke nor is it an attempt to run away from anything. I didn’t grow up wanting to be a physical therapist but grew up wanting to help those who are affected by a terminal illness or a disability (generally speaking – those who are hurting and/or forgotten). PT became the vehicle to accomplish this. I suppose I say that because, to me, if I don’t practice as a physical therapist for the rest of my life I won’t be devastated or feel like I wasted my education or career. Although I love PT, as long as I follow what is deep within me I believe I’ll be in the right place. And, as my conversations with friends and family revealed, I’ve always craved something a little less ordinary.

I realize that, on some levels, I am being rather personal here. I recently told a friend that I think sometimes my transparency is a down-fall of mine. But, it so often feels extremely natural for me. I don’t know what it is or what compels me to be like that. I suppose right now it is allowing me to embrace the personal growth that is occurring and to take that step of acceptance into my current reality. You each are supporting me in this endeavor of mine in your own way and bringing you along with me, on a more personal level, is just something I want to do. It’s a way for me to feel connected to you. One thing I know about myself, without a doubt, I want to feel connected to people on a level that is genuine and meaningful.

Back to Hunchun

Although, naturally, there is a little sadness regarding what I have left behind, it's good to be back in China. I've been back a week now and have settled in to the familiar things of this place - the markets filled with all sorts of raw meats and fish (dead and alive); the constant honking of the taxis; the confusion of the locals as to whether I'm Russian or American; the endless opportunities to consume rice; the walking to get most places or my little #8 bus; the ever-surprising rate at which Chinese flows from the mouths of the locals. However, there are some new things that are present that weren't around late October - the thick layer of ice on the sidewalks and side roads when I first arrived (entertaining watching the women walking on the ice in their high heels...yes, they love heels that much here); frozen fish being sold on carts outside everywhere because it's that cold...they don't defrost in the sun (we're talking the whole fish. not in cute little filet form); the lack of hot water for a shower. i think it's closer to lukewarm (hot showers are overrated, right?); oh yes...the biggie...the frigid temperatures mixed with the ever-popular Hunchun wind. Today was -3 with a windchill of -24 (yes, i'm talking fahrenheit). Whoa buddy!!! I walked to Special School which took about 30 minutes and I couldn't feel my face when I got there. Actually, I'm pretty sure I couldn't talk normal and a little drool may have escaped my mouth without me realizing it, ha! Good thing I'm not trying to score any dates here :)

Okay, okay...on a more serious note. The month of February will likely be a bit slow for me. The children aren't at school because of the cold and we don't have teams visiting this time of year. I'll dive back into the language studies, do some office work at the school, shovel horse poop and snow at the ranch, read some books, and celebrate the Chinese New Year (Feb 14th with a huge fireworks show on the 28th - yippee!!! I absolutely love fireworks!!)

That's all for now folks! Take care and stay in touch
~k

Update on Sung Ju

We have a wonderful family here from Indiana who are long-termers - The Howes. They are here in hopes of building an orphanage but have been patiently waiting for funds to come in. They have 4 children here ages 18 months - 13 years whom they home school. I'm just trying to show you that they aren't exactly sitting around :) Well, the Howes heard about Sung Ju and wanted to help immediately. After getting permission from his dad, Sung Ju now goes to the Howe household from 2:30-6:30 Monday through Friday. Instead of sitting alone all day at home, he now gets to interact with other kids and gets fed and cleaned up. This also gives me an opportunity to go in three days a week to do PT with him. Can we say "answer to pr*yer?!!" Sung Ju's dad has really been trying: he comes home from work everyday for lunch to eat with his son and make sure he's cleaned up. Then, when the Howes take him back home in the evening, dad is there waiting. You can tell he really loves his son and wants to do the best thing for him. This schedule can't be easy for him as the locals here work ALL day long, as long as there is sunlight (4:30a-6p).

I want to remind you that his father didn't really know about Sung Ju's disability (Sung Ju was riding a bike and running just 3 years ago). Now, here he is making a huge effort!! It's beautiful. He still is taking time to think about what's best for Sung Ju and his living situation. If he sends his son to the orphanage he would be well cared for, but dad would lose ALL of his parental rights. That's a huge deal. A new thing thrown into the situation - Janet just discovered that if Sung Ju has a helper at school then he can return to Special School!! That would take care of the hours 8a-4p 5 days a week. We'd also need the helper on all school breaks too. There is hope with this option but there would still be time to cover. You get the idea.

Thank you for pr*ying about this. Please, let's keep it up!

A matter of the heart

I previously shared about a young boy, Sung Ju, who has Muscular Dystrophy and came to Special School last semester. Janet and I went to visit him about 3 weeks ago and unfortunately discovered that he had declined physically over the summer break and could no longer stand or take any steps. This broke my heart. I had encouraged the mother to do a couple of exercises with Sung Ju but she stated during the visit that she didn't have time. Without the ability to walk or toilet himself, Sung Ju was unable to return to Special School. Janet went to take ice cream to him last Wednesday and found him alone in his home. He said that his mom had been gone for a few days. Janet had to leave so she called me and I went and sat with him for a couple of hours. An additional complication to this whole matter is the fact that Janet and I are foreigners. It is not wise to get involved in domestic issues but we couldn't turn our backs either. The abbreviated version is this: his parents are divorced and Sung Ju has been living with his mom and 16 year old sister. His mom just up and left for South Korea (to live) sometime last week, took her daughter with her and left Sung Ju behind. Janet met with Sung Ju's dad the day after we found Sung Ju alone. He said that he works construction 13 hours a day, sometimes more and cannot give the proper care to Sung Ju. He knew very little about his disability. Sooo, yesterday Janet met with the headmaster at Dail Orphanage here in Hunchun along with Sung Ju’s dad and uncle. The Orphanage, run by a young South Korean couple, has never taken in a disabled child – he would be their first. They said that the dad would have to sign a waiver that frees him of all parental rights. Dail also said they would have to talk to the local government and to the head Dail office in South Korea to get permission. If both parties say “yes” then Dail wants to take Sung Ju in and try. This is a huge responsibility as Sung Ju cannot walk anymore and would need total help when going to the bathroom. The other thing that weighs heavily on my mind is the fact that Sung Ju will only continue to get worse physically. He will eventually reach the point where he is totally dependent for all tasks…it’s only a matter of time. Sung Ju's dad has not yet made a decision. We should know within a week. There is so much I want to do but can't. I’m realizing that all I can truly do is pr*y that G*d would hold this little boy in his arms and would love and comfort him. This situation is heart-breaking. In the midst of it I thank G*d that a place like Dail Orphanage exists in this town! The people there are amazing and I know that Sung Ju would be loved and well taken care of. Please keep him and his family in your thoughts and pr*y that this is resolved quickly.