Updates Galore

XMAS:
I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas!! We put on a Christmas program here on the 24th hoping to have around 60 locals join us. Over 170 of the Chinese came! How exciting!! I was asked to be a clown for the program which turned out to be a big hit with the locals. So many people wanted pictures, ha ha! Clowns freak me out a little, but everyone got a kick out of it so it was worth it :) After the program, I headed over to Lori and Ryan's apartment for some good ol' Christmas Eve fun. We played cards, drank coffee and apple cider, ate goodies, and then watched Charlie Brown's Christmas. We went to bed about 12:30 and attempted to sleep but the wind was SO strong it kept Lori and I awake for most of the night. We were up just before 4a so that Ryan and Lori could open presents with family via Skype. Then began the cooking for the big Christmas meal. We made stuffing, mashed potatoes and dinner rolls for 40 people (plus Lori made cinnamon rolls for breakfast!). Our team got together for the big meal at 12:00 and then had a gift exchange. Coming home that night to an empty apartment made me miss people back home, but also made me realize how thankful I am for the family I have here in Hunchun.

Big Winds:
I've told you all about the temperatures here...freezing cold! It is also a very windy place (I'm pretty sure we have to be one of the windiest places on earth). Well, on Christmas day we got a call from our farm workers that part of the roof on the barn had blown off. We couldn't do anything that day because the wind was so strong so we went out the next day. Oh my goodness. It looks like a tornado went through. 1/2 of the barn roof has been ripped off with the support beams going with it and some of the bricks from the wall (the photo shows only part of the barn without the roof). How this happened and the tarps on our rice hay are still secured down is beyond all of us. There is quite a bit of damage, not only to the property, but to equipment as well. We're also fearful that two of the dividing brick walls may fall over with the next big wind. We are all trying to stay positive and take this as an opportunity to learn something. Easier said than done sometimes. Thankfully, none of the workers or the livestock were hurt. Please pray for us as we continue with the clean up and as Ryan and Lori decide how to proceed.

Special School: The students at Special School had a program on the 17th that was fabulous! Each age group took turns performing - some sang songs, some danced, some recited special Chinese sayings. It was so exciting for me to be there. I felt like a proud parent in the front with a heart full of joy :) During the event, one of the mothers had a seizure and I ran over to help. It was a little nerve-racking at first with all of the comotion, with me not knowing her typical seizure tendencies, with her complexion showing a significant lack of oxygen BUT all turned out okay. We later found out that she has not been able to take anti-seizure medication because of lack of finances and the frequency has been worsening. Janet (one of our team members) will be taking this young woman to Yanji this week to get medication. So thankful there are some resources here!
The students were thrilled to finally go home for vacation! About 1/2 of the students live in the dorms and many haven't been home since this summer. I was sad to see them go but excited for them to be with family. The school year officially ended on Dec 24th and classes won't begin until March 1st.

SongJu: The latest you all heard about him was that his mother came back last winter and took him out of the orphanage. At that time, I told you my emotions were mixed. I believe they remain the same. SongJu was at school this spring and summer but didn't return in the fall after the summer break. Long story short - Janet, Bri (a college student here for 6 months) and I met with SongJu and his mother for lunch one day. We learned that his mother re-married and that she wanted to go back to South Korea (where she was when she left SongJu last fall). We talked to her about SongJu's needs - both physical and emotional - but his mother had strong arguments for why she wanted to leave. Bri was a huge help in that she went every Tuesday and Thursday to pick up SongJu in the village and bring him to Special School so that he could 1. go to therapy with me 2. go to art class with Janet (he loves art) 3. be around other kids and get out of the house. It was heartbreaking to see that SongJu's little body had weakened further. This was expected since his disease is progressive but the rate at which it occurred was increased due to no therapeutic care given at home. I've tried to stress the importance of certain care, but to no avail. SongJu's mom has left for South Korea with SongJu living with his step father in a nearby village. With the winter being so cold here and no classes in session, I worry about him being isolated. He seems to be doing okay right now, but please pray for his little heart and for his family.

YongAe:
I last updated you on YongAe when she started walking. We worked together to then get her walking without the walker to a cane and then without a device. We also got her up and down the stairs. Once I let her loose she ran wild! :) By the time she left Hunchun for South Korea and then on to the States she was going out to eat, having meetings, and getting her hair done. It was wonderful!! She did continue to have some pain which was to be expected. Once YongAe arrived in South Korea she went to the doctor who told her that she had significant internal bruising (which we guessed). He also said something that gave me the shivers...if the spinal fracture would have been a mere centimeter more, she likely would have been paralyzed. I am SOOOO thankful to God that he protected YongAe during the accident, that she wasn't yanked from the car at the scene, and that he guided my hands as I helped her. Thank you all for you prayers throughout this situation. They were answered!! YongAe and David are currently back in the States enjoying time with their first grandbaby! God is so, so good!

Follow-up Thoughts on Twoo Wuv

Reading everyone's responses has been such a blessing and an encouragement. Just yesterday I came across this in one of my journal entries from last December - “Although I've recently been in a pessimistic slump regarding love, I really want to believe that true, deep, committed love is REAL and possible and worth the risk.” Going through this process with the blog has revealed that what I long for is not over-idealistic. It's real. It's possible. It's worth the risk. It's definitely worth the wait. I'm not being too picky. I'm not setting my expectations too high. I'm not skipping around with an over-the-top fairytale view of marriage. Of course it's bound to be a touch idealistic because I've yet to be married therefore I have not personally experienced its challenges. But everything has its challenges. You all admitted to me that marriage is not a cake-walk but you also voiced that all of the difficulties were very much worth the joy, comfort and love that you have experienced in your marriage. That's hope, my friends!!

As I said in the first blog, the longing to be in a committed relationship is there. It's strong and dwells deep within me but it isn't screaming in my ear or debilitating me. I admit it can be a roller coaster. When I wrote the blog I was struggling with pessimism, doubt, and skepticism regarding romantic relationships. I can't tell you that all of those emotions have been completely wiped away, but they have certainly lessened. And I can't deny that there have been times in my life when I've hidden behind my independence as a self-protection against the longings and loneliness.

Regardless of how intense that loneliness might become, I cannot step away from the knowledge and comfort that God truly is in control and is more than aware of my heart's desires. He knows what is best for me better than I ever can or will. I cannot allow loneliness or fear or self-doubt or outside pressure to rush me into one of the most important decisions of my life. This is the rest of my life we're talking about. Loneliness that can come with being with the wrong person is far greater than the loneliness that comes with singleness...let alone all the other trouble that would come with rushing things.

So...to sum it all up...

Do I want to join my heart with another? Sure do. Am I lonely sometimes? Sure am. Will I see my singleness as a limitation or a disability? Sure won't. I refuse to put things on hold because I'm single. I refuse to hold back on living life to the fullest because I'm not married. I must refuse to allow my self to lack confidence, or self-worth or joy or vision or passion for life because I'm not married. If there's any single people out there living like that – stop it!! Realize that your singlehood is merely a chapter in your life. Once you finish that chapter and turn the page, it's over. No going back. So embrace it! The next chapter will come soon enough, and just as you long for things from that chapter now, you'll miss some of the things from the singlehood chapter later. We need to get a grip on the “grass is always greener” syndrome (I'm talking to myself too).

“Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.” Proverbs 4:23 The joining of two lives is a beautiful yet serious thing. It's sacred and we can't rush it. Until I meet someone who truly brings out the best in me and I in him, and unless we as a couple maximize God's potential for one another, it is best to remain single.

I must say, this has been the most rewarding “blog experience.” I thoroughly enjoyed digesting all of your thoughts and loved seeing into your worlds. Have I mentioned I live for deep connections? ;) It was so rewarding to offer my vulnerability and to receive yours in return. This was like conversation over coffee sitting by a warm fire or while out camping in the wilderness!! So fabulous! Thank you all so, so much!

Tons of love coming your way!